Whether you are actively looking for a partner or not, certain things are already wired into your brain about what you will find attractive about your potential partner.
Along with the primary attraction, there is also a sexual attraction that you will feel. However, every individual will find themselves getting attraction to certain ‘types’ of people, depending upon certain inherent traits.
Some people find physical appearance to be the most attractive and alluring thing in a potential partner. For others, it might be how a person carries themselves- the clothes they wear, the way they sit, eat and talk.
Some might even find themselves attracted to the status and class of a person first, and then to their looks and personality.
Quite recently, a new type of sexual attraction has been discovered.
If you find yourself getting attracted to potential partners based on their intelligence, you might be ‘sapiosexual.’ Although this term is widely and often wrongly used by many people, it has a pretty simple meaning to it.
The word ‘sapio’ comes from the word ‘sapiens,’ which is just another term for wise (or judicious). Sapiosexuals are those people who are attracted to the human mind first, rather than outward appearances and characteristics.
A sapiosexual is someone who is aroused by intelligence; by someone’s mind. Although this does not mean that one does not notice the other person’s physical appearance at all, they do.
But they are not allured or aroused by it. Instead, it is the next step- the intelligent conversations that attract these sapiosexuals to potential partners.
If you are trying to figure out if you are a sapiosexual, or you might know someone who is, then here are some characteristics of these people:
Intelligence Takes Precedence over Everything Else
When people think of choosing a partner, they often have certain things in mind which excite them. It might be someone’s deep blue eyes which thoroughly sweep you off your feet, or maybe their smile.
It might even be the way they smell, which is their most overpowering feature to you. Perhaps you have a thing for hair, and it is the very first thing that you notice in potential partners.
However, if you are the kind of person who does not find themselves attracted or allured by any of these external features, if you are someone who always needs to look deeper, beyond the surface, and sees the person’s mind, then you might be a sapiosexual.
For a sapiosexual, nothing matters more than their partner’s intelligence. Not their looks, their money, their careers, or their status. They can hold in-depth conversations, deep knowledge about various topics, and their ability to articulate their thoughts into words that attract these people.
You Are Turned off by Aggression or Brutish Behaviour
A lot of young men or even women feel the need to show off in front of potential partners by showcasing acts of aggression or brutish behaviour. More often than not, people find it attractive, relating it to strength and power.
However, a sapiosexual will never find themselves attracted to these kinds of people. It is, in fact, the opposite. Acts of aggression can turn them off, rather than allure them to a potential partner.
People who behave foolishly can completely turn you off, making you run miles away from them. Instead, you happen to find those people attractive who can handle difficult situations with calmness, curiosity, and even poise.
This state of the patience of a person’s mind and character is far more appealing to you- those who can think before they speak. This does not mean that you don’t like healthy people.
You can love someone physically strong and powerful, but you would be far more attracted to the strength of mind and character, rather than raw physical power.
Intelligence Does Not Merely Relate to Book Smarts
A big mistake that people often make when trying to describe the term sapiosexual is thinking that intelligence refers to how academically smart they are, or how many books they have read. This is not true. A person might read 50 books a year, but they might still not be intelligent.
Intelligence here refers to the ability to grasp new topics, process and understand them, and the ability to articulate your thoughts and ideas about the subject. Intelligence also means how well a person can teach something to someone else, while at the same time if they are a good listener or not.
Intelligence goes way beyond book smart. A sapiosexual person will notice how well versed a person is about varying topics. How well they can understand and then speak about these topics too.
The issues are not merely based on academia- it has nothing to do with how many science books they have read. Instead, the intelligence is all rounded. It refers to the intellect, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness as well.
You Are Always Looking to Learn
One of the most significant character traits of a sapiosexual person is that not only are they attracted to intelligent people, but they are themselves always looking to increase their knowledge of the world.
If sitting at home and watching exciting documentaries, reading a new book together, visiting museums and libraries sounds like the perfect date for you. Then you are also someone who always keeps learning and discover new things.
To be a sapiosexual, you, too, have to have intelligence and the willingness to learn and explore new things.
Although this is somewhat of a stereotype, sapiosexuals often stumble upon these intelligent minds in bookstores, libraries, or even classrooms, rather than in bars and pubs. This is a gross stereotype, however, because smart people might also enjoy drinking or visiting parties.
You never know where you can meet an intelligent person who might become your next partner; however, the only way to find out is by striking up a conversation. Depending upon how well the conversation flows, the things that you two speak about, and of course, some amount of physical chemistry as well, you might find your next partner right around the corner!