Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder and there are many types of them. Those who have narcissistic personality disorder lack genuine empathy and sympathy for others. People with NPD do not have a healthy sense of identity, purpose, or self-worth. They may overestimate their ability in general and their capabilities in specific and be preoccupied with grandiose fantasies about themselves or with focusing attention on others. They may fantasize about having “elite” status, being a superstar in sports or entertainment, or being extremely wealthy.
They’re also likely to have certain phobias. People with NPD have a history of perfectionism, have grandiose ideas about themselves, have a fear of being abandoned, and lack a basic sense of shame. These characteristics result in a person who is self-centred, arrogant, pretentious, with a sense of entitlement, who may frequently engage in manipulative behaviours, such as lying and manipulating others. For example, they may exploit, exploit, exploit, expect others to do what they want, demand special favours, demand that others show interest in their personal life and deny that others exist or matter. They may appear to be genuinely caring, kind people, but it’s all a facade.
One characteristic that separates a narcissist from a psychopath is that narcissists are more self-focused than the psychopath. A narcissist has an obsessive focus on his/her needs. People with a narcissist personality disorder are ruled by their emotions and aren’t able to experience the appropriate amount of empathy for others, and therefore they may only display shallow emotional or physical behaviours.
How narcissists view the world — they believe that the world revolves around them, that others exist solely to serve their needs, and that they are entitled to special treatment. Narcissists have inflated, overly positive self-views and believe that others like or want to be around them. They expect others to support their high opinion of themselves. They are narcissistic.
Narcissists are somewhat adaptable; they can adapt their behaviour, belief system and views of the world over time. They seek admiration, usually from other people rather than from themselves. They love the limelight.
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How narcissists manage their emotions
Narcissists have an extremely vivid fantasy life and are living in a world of their own making, their heaven on earth, and they like to fantasize about fame and fortune, business success and good health. They live in the present and expect others to do so as well. They spend most of their waking hours fantasizing about being rich, famous or having more success than anyone else.
Unlike psychopaths, narcissists can develop empathy and the ability to identify with other people. It may take them a while to develop these skills.
An ego-maniacal narcissist doesn’t feel the need to try to understand another person’s situation, feelings or behaviour. They have little empathy and can’t relate to others. For example, a narcissist may expect a family member to have sympathy for their financial difficulties and run out and buy them a new car.
The narcissistic’s goal is to be the centre of attention, and they like attention so much that they will do anything for attention, to be the centre of attention.
How they make decisions
Narcissists tend to have a ‘tit for tat’ attitude and, at first, they may try to minimize their mistakes and reflect on their faults. Once they have decided what they want, their brains get pretty wired to make whatever choices they want regardless of their consequences.
Often, they have very limited, one-dimensional or even two-dimensional thinking. A narcissist can only see things in their world and, once they make up their minds, they continue to pursue their goal regardless of the consequences.
Narcissists often believe that they’re “special” and that the world revolves around them. As a result, they do things that others may find difficult, such as lying, cheating, manipulating, and manipulating others.
The narcissist believes that they deserve the best of everything and will sometimes act entitled when they do something that others think is unfair or that goes against their personal preferences.
Narcissists can be very impulsive when they feel slighted. They like to act impulsively, often to get even, but they can’t back down easily once they have started.
How they feel about themselves
Narcissists generally don’t think they’re very intelligent or very successful or very desirable. They often put themselves down.
Narcissists think they are very special and wish everyone could see their wonderful self-esteem. They say that it’s always better to be “other people.”
How they communicate
They are not good at expressing their emotions. They don’t like to make a big scene when they’re angry or hurt. They may even walk away from the situation and leave the other person confused and wondering what happened.
They may say what they think you want to hear or they may lie. The narcissist may want to punish you for something you’ve done. They may spread false rumours about you. They will repeat lies over and over to convince themselves that they’re true.
How to Spot a Narcissist
If you think someone is narcissistic, don’t fool yourself. They can be easily recognized by their “love of attention,” the need for control, the obsession with image, the grandiose fantasies of success and the need for constant adulation.
Examine yourself, and you’ll see the same patterns in yourself.
If you see a similarity in yourself with what you see in your relatives or friends, you may have some narcissistic tendencies.
You may have a personality disorder. However, it’s unlikely that you’re a true narcissist. It’s better to be treated with respect, love and compassion.
Only you can decide if you’re narcissistic or not. However, if you think you have narcissistic tendencies, there are steps you can take to reduce these tendencies. The only true way to change or stop the behaviours is to make a conscious effort to change yourself.
A. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
A narcissistic view of reality is that there are people who are more “talented” or “successful” or “attractive” than others.
Your perception is based on your value system, not someone else’s.
You have to look at yourself. Are you satisfied with yourself? If you are, you don’t need to compare yourself to other people.
Realize that every person is unique and that there is no one true way of doing things.
You have to know your strengths and weaknesses so that you can improve.
Try to limit comparisons to others.
B. LEARN FROM THE HISTORY OF HISTORY
Every situation has lessons to be learned from.
- What have I done that I’m proud of?
- What did I do that I’m ashamed of?
- What bad decisions have I made?
- Have I shown compassion to others?
- What was I willing to sacrifice for my personal goals?
- Ask yourself if you’d be happy with the outcome of any of your choices.
- What kind of person would I want to be?
Your personal values and choices influence your life and what you achieve.
C. GIVE WAY TO INFORMED CONSENT
Being asked by a person you love if you’d like to join them in a lifestyle that isn’t conducive to you can be extremely hurtful.
However, an uninformed choice can lead to many unpleasant consequences that you can’t imagine now. You may be faced with eviction, bankruptcy, foreclosure or even loss of your life savings.
If you know that the lifestyle you have chosen will negatively affect your health, you should consider your options before leaping. You might want to reconsider your career and shift to something more positive.
If you want to have a more intimate relationship with your partner, you should try to plan it, so you are enjoying both your own and your partner’s company.
Learn to live in the now and stop comparing yourself to others.
Life is too short to do anything that isn’t going to benefit you and your well-being.