We all know such people who quickly make into our disliked list because of their chatterbox nature. Nobody likes one-way traffic of constant chatter while having conversations. Even if the discussion is meaningful, one just cannot handle the pressure of being a sole good listener out of the two parties involved.
It is in human nature to happily tolerate small portions of verbosity. Over chattiness usually comprises of oversharing, gossips, ramblings, poor jokes and mostly jibber jabber. One loses all of his interest during such scenarios and wishes to hide or run away in the opposite direction.
Talking too much is not a malicious sin, no not at all; it is just one irritating habit that can be managed with determination. We being social animals are bound to encounter each other and have talks.
If you are afraid of being one of those who is a chattering mess, don’t stress yourself. You can keep a check on your tongue and potential weakness by following simple viewpoints given below.
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Turn On Your Listening Mode
Eloquent conversations are those where both parties give each other the opportunity to express themselves. People feel more comfortable if you let them talk too. Either one of you will feel ignored or bored if only one of you is putting words to their thought process. Both should act as an audience off and on. The only way to keep track of your participation in a talk is to estimate your listening ratio.
The listening ratio is determined by calculating your listening period Vs. your talking period. The listening ratio of a good listener would be 1 (50/50), which means that the person is spending equal time for both talking and listening in a particular discussion.
Talk To the Point
Smart people realize the fact that few right words can make an enormous effect in comparison to many useless words uttered together. It is the content that matters not the length of the chat. Your too much talking habit will reduce to a great extent if you act upon “talking to the point” approach.
Always remember the main motivation behind your conversation and just make sure that you present your point of view in a concise and comprehensive manner. In other words, practice using one line sentences. It will not only keep other party engaged in the discussion but also will send your message straight and clear.
One can master this “one-liner” exercise with time and practice. The easiest way to acquire this quality is by composing your opinion in head and taking a pause before making any response.
Welcome Feedback with Open Mind
There is no shame in asking others to help you out in ways to control too much talking. It just shows that you are aware of your issue and are serious about solving the matter. One can simply ask others to point out me if I am not letting you speak enough.
In our everyday life, we meet a lot of people such as colleagues, family members and trustworthy friends who can genuinely be concerned about us and are all in for helping us get out from excessive dialogue struggle.
Welcome their feedback with a smile on your face and analyze it open heartedly. This way they will be encouraged to keep providing you necessary help and criticism and stop you from making a useless contribution to the conversation.
One other method which can be used for your evaluation is of recording your conversation in an audio tape. This method does not require the viewpoint of others, this way you alone can estimate how much talking is done by you and how much you need to reduce over talking.
Pay Attention to Cues
Notice other person’s cues during a discussion. It is just as simple as that. Do not ignore the verbal or non-verbal signs of a bored audience. The disinterested listener will most likely have a baffling posture, stern face, wandering eyelids, odd smile, and drifting remarks.
He may appear to be in a hurry to leave or would suddenly realize that something urgent is pending and needs to be done promptly. Even if he seems to be engaged in conversation, his side of talking would mostly contain nods and Okays.
These are enough signals for someone to understand that it is time to end the conversation. If not, then prepare yourself for talking to yourself only.
It is a known fact that when you are nervous you tend to speak a lot of jibber jabber. Even when your mind is present somewhere else or you feel tensed or depressed, you engage yourself in long meaningless talks. This natural human tendency can be quite an annoying burden for the one standing opposite to you.
The solution for this gruesome scenario is to relieve your tension before engaging in a conversation with someone. You can take a walk, try yoga, meditate or do any deep breathing exercises to make yourself stress-free.
By following this routine you will not irritate and bother others through shifting your anxiety to their mindset.
Ask More Questions
If there had to be one technique that can guarantee you the satisfaction of less talking, then this is the one. This method is as easy as it sounds. If you fear that you are over talking, just ask more open-ended questions.
By asking a question you place the ball in other’s court and then it is their turn to express their views while you listen and absorb.
In return, the other party can also ask a question and then it is your turn again to spill your thoughts. This way in between to and fro questions one can have the time to calm their mind and control their chattiness.
Talking too much is not limited to any specific gender. Both men and women have the ability to indulge in over advising and prolong clarifying. Interrupting others frequently during a conversation is a clear sign of over talking.
One must take an initiative to save his time, productivity and energy level by talking less and listening more. People feel wanted in relationships only when you let them contribute their side of the story as well. Talking less is an essential trait for maintaining balance in thoughts, relationships and in life.